Once more, if you please
by Ridel
Summary: A teenage girl is wished away by her hyperactive friend. Now, Maria must get to the castle, while Ridel tries to get out and Jareth tries to accomplish what he failed to with Sarah. NOT A ROMANCE! Flames excepted, I know how annoying self inserts can be.
1. Introductions

**AN: Hello all! Some of you have already read this story while under the title, 'Odd Happenings' The thingy is, I have rewritten it a bit. For those of you who haven't read it, I hope you like it. For those of you who have, I hope you like this slightly modified version better. **

**As far as plot goes, there isn't much. I started writing this story when I was sick and had way to much time to kill. Though I wouldn't worry much, I finished NaNoWriMo which I started with no plot at al, so this should be fine. END AN:**

It's not that I don't like Jareth, I do!" Argued Ridel. "I just don't understand why you slobber all over my TV whenever we watch this!"

Maria turned from the movie she had been worshipping and confronted her friend. Looking rather like a small squeaky animal ready to defend its burrow.

"Do you know what your problem is Ridel? You have no taste in men!"

"And how" Ridel asked "do you call that taste?" she motioned to the Goblin kings pants.

"Exactly!" quipped Maria happily. "Game set and match." She turned back to find the goblin king was gone and Hoggle and Sarah running from the cleaners.

"Stupid Sarah" She muttered.

Ridel was getting frustrated now. "What's wrong with Sarah?" She asked annoyed.

"Besides the fact that she is a total brat?" Asked Maria.

"She got better." Grumbled Ridel.

"What I don't like about her, is that she is rather like you when it comes to the Goblin King."

"You mean reasonable frightened of a guy who just set spiky whirring death on her and her friend?" Asked Ridel.

Maria groaned and shook her head, returning to the movie.

Although they disagreed on a few things, Ridel and Maria were actually best friends. They both had the same slightly sadistic to the all out bizarre sense of humor. They both enjoyed reading writing and drawing, and whenever they were together they couldn't stay mad at anything for very long. The one would somehow cheer the other and everything turned out fine.

The one thing that annoyed them the most though, was there different views on men. Fictional or otherwise. Ridel for one, Thought that Jareth was a good Villain, But not the most romantic figure in the universe.

Maria however, had several print outs of the goblin king plastered all over her wall that kept Ridel up at night when she slept over. As Ridel's print outs of Lon Chaney as the phantom of the opera did Maria.

"What would you do?" asked Maria suddenly, as Jareth offered Sarah her dreams for the second time.

"What huh what what?" Ridel had been concentrating on a drawing of Hoggle at the time.

"What would you do? I mean if you were Sarah." Maria cocked her head.

"You mean if I was suddenly alone in a dark room with Jareth and he was offering me my dreams?" She asked

Maria nodded.

Ridel looked thoughtful.

"Well I would probably scream… wonder what on earth was going on, then faint dead away."

Maria groaned. "Why do I even bother? At least Jareth has a face!"

Ridel gasped in mock horror. "My Erikens has a face!... sort of… okay not really. But at least HE doesn't prance around in tights like a little girl!"

Now it was Maria's turn to gasp. "Take that back you charlatan!"

"Neva!" Shouted Ridel standing on her couch, exuding pure chemical defiance. "Yield fool! My fictional lover could totally beat up your fictional lover!"

"You disgrace to hormonal teenage girl kind! Have at you!" Maria lunged at Ridel who jumped over her and landed on the carpet ware Maria had just stood.

"Ha!" She shouted in triumph. She was rather pleased with that little stunt. At least, right up to the point where the couch cushion hit her in the face.

"Who's laughing now Ridel?" Squealed Maria, a demented grin plastered on her face. "You know that the phantom and Raoul were romantically involved."

Ridel ground her teeth. "Madam! You are on dangerous ground!"

"I mean it's obvious that Christine was just an excuse" She went on regardless of Ridel's warning.

Ridel, unable to handle the Slash talk a second longer, grabbed Maria by her ankles and pulled, sending her crashing to the grey carpet with a mighty thud. Maria bounced back up in record time and tackled Ridel. The two crazies rolled all around the living room trying to pin each other. Fighting for the honor of two men who didn't exist. Suddenly the lights flickered on. the girls went still.

They looked up into the surprised and slightly more than annoyed face of Ridel's mother. After a short pause she cleared her through and addressed them.

"Girls… would either of you care to explain what this is all about?"

Ridel and Maria exchanged looks.

"Er… No?" Ventured Maria.

Misses Sheridan sighed. "In that case put away your movie, clean up this living room, and be quiet. Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Yes mom."

"Yes misses. Sheridan."

Ridel's mother nodded and left the girls to clean up after themselves.

Maria replaced the coach cushion while Ridel picked up the random bits of popcorn that had ended up strewn all over the room. "I'll have to vacuum tomorrow." She muttered.

"So, putting our disagreements on the manly types aside." whispered Maria, "Don't you think it would be fun to go to the Labyrinth?"

Ridel shrugged. "Well that's the problem you see. If we wanted to go to the Labyrinth, Not that I'm saying we possibly could, we would have to wish one of us away. And to tell the truth I'm not to keen on being kidnapped by David Bowie and a band of demented Jim Henson puppets."

Maria nodded her head. "Yeah I agree with you there, Those Muppets are the scariest things ever."

"Not to mention the guy who rules them." Added Ridel under her breath. This earned her a death glare from Maria.

888

**An important AN:**

**As I said before, I started writing this because I was sick, bed ridden, and bored out of my mind. There was never a real plot to it as I made every chapter up as I went. BUT! Before you turn away in disgust, Don't. I have every intention of continuing. However, I could use a little help.**

**Would any of you like a cameo? Dun dun duuuuun! If you do, Please review this chapter and give me ideas. I have a general plot line now, but still.**

**All you have to do is**

**think of a way you would like to torment either Ridel or Maria, (Or Jareth if you really want )**

**Choose a representative I.e. A Goblin, Fairy, Firey, or made up creature.**

**Choose a name for them. (You can use your screen name if you wish, but you may want try a different name.)**

**Review this chapter with your idea, and I'll see if I want to put it in. **

**I just thought it would be fun to write an "interactive" fan fic. So that's my idea! **

**With lots of love and gratitude in advance!**

**RIDEL**

_**Ridel**_


	2. Enter the Goblin King

Maria rolled out her sleeping bag as Ridel worked on setting up a makeshift tent made with bed sheets.

"Okay okay. Putting David Bowie aside, I mean really aside, he is not an issue, don't you think that the labyrinth would be awesome? Amazing? Spectacular perhaps?" Asked Maria.

Ridel sighed "Yes. You know even with David Bowie it would be okay." She said, fumbling with the sheets.

Maria smiled. "Ah. I see you are on the path to the dark side, Good my young apprentice."

Ridel biffed her with a pillow. "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen." Came Maria's muffled voice.

"Just cause I don't hate him doesn't mean I'm in love with him like you. There is middle ground you know." Said Ridel turning back to her work with the sheets.

"Well that's good then! It means that I don't have to share." Maria smiled and flopped across her mattress on her stomach.

Three hours later found the girls giggling madly inside a surprisingly well put together sheet tent. They were nearly at the bottom of a box of candy. Courtesy of post hallows eve sales.

"Look I'm Jareth!" Said Ridel turning to show her friend her excessive eye shadow. This sent Maria into another fit of giggles. Ridel put on a fake indignant look. "Don't laugh at your king, or I shall suspend you head first in the bog of eternal stench!" she said in a bad fake British accent.

The giggles intensified. "No more please! Oh! My poor heart." Maria wiped a tear from her eye as she tried to stop laughing.

"Naw, I couldn't be the goblin king." Ridel went on. Plopping down on her mattress and rubbing the make up away. "I'm not glittery enough."

A strange thing that sugar and 3:00 in the morning have in common is the fact that everything seams ten times funnier. You fall into an almost drunken state ware you don't choose your words because you think that whatever you say will be bloody brilliant anyway. It was because of this that Maria made her first mistake.

"Oh Ridel STOP! I'll say them, I'll say the words!"

Ridel grinned. "I doubt it." She said. "How are you going to manage if you can't even breath?" With that she pounced on Maria and started tickling her mercilessly. Maria shrieked and laughed loudly, trying to roll out from under her friend.

"I W-Wish" She managed before laughing loudly again. There was a loud banging on the door.

"I though I told you girls to be quiet!" Came the muffled but loud voice of Ridels mother. Ridel rolled off of Maria.

"Sorry mom! We won't do it again." She said. Maria was gasping for air and laying on her back. A huge grin splitting her face. Ridels mother grumbled something along the lines of "Yeah right." And shuffled back down the hall to her room.

Ridel looked over at Maria to see her glairing at her. Even though she was struggling to keep the corners of her mouth turning up. It made her look tragically funny to Ridel. She clamped a hand across her mouth and tried not to laugh.

"I wish the goblins would come and take you away, right now." She said balefully, turning her head and staring at the top of the tent. She started to giggle.

To her surprise there was no answer from the other mattress. Maria's giggles subsided as she noticed that Ridel was, in fact, not in the tent anymore. "Uh… Ridel?"

Suddenly she heard the scratching of many small claws scurrying across the hard wood floor. She froze for a second, then came to the conclusion that Ridel was probably just trying to scare her. She poked her head out of the tent, but saw only the empty bedroom. "What the crap?" she whispered.

She was startled by a chorus of gruff high pitched laughter that seamed to come form every dark corner of the room. She gasped and ducked back into the tent.

Suddenly she Ridels window fly open, and the beat of large wings. Maria shivered as she heard the wings stop and the thump of boots take there place.

'oh my go, this can not really be happening.' She thought to herself over and over again.

She hugged her pillow tightly to her chest. It was a sort of anchor to reality which reassured her that it was not possible for Goblins to come take people away.

She watched the shadowy figure of a man walk slowly around the tent, until it came to a stop by the entrance.

Maria gulped audibly and hugged the pillow even tighter. She heard the British accent in the familiar voice as he apparently asked one of his goblins, "In there then?"

A second later the sheets were pulled back to reveal none other than Jareth, king of the goblins. He smirked down at Maria as she stared wide eyed and open mouthed, reminiscent of a gold fish.

"Uh… y-you're, you're the... The." She stammered.

"the Goblin king?" He supplied.

Maria gulped again. "yeah… him." She said. Funny how all of her strength and bravery evaporated in his presence.

"I am indeed." He said. And looked her in the eyes. He was satisfied to see she was afraid.

"Umm… You took Ridel… didn't you…?" She gulped out.

"I see you catch on quick." His mocking tone was starting to get on her nerves. Which gave her a little bit of backbone. Sure it was okay when he was talking to Sarah like that, but Maria was one of his biggest fans!

"Well" she said, standing up on rather shaky legs. "Give her back, it was a just joke."

"You said the words." He said smugly, examining his gloves for apparently no reason other than making Maria upset.

She flushed. "But, I didn't mean it!"

"Oh you didn't?" he said, looking back up at her and raising an eyebrow.

She groaned. They were practically reenacting the movie, and she remembered how well these lines had worked for Sarah.

"Please Jareth, She's my best friend! Look I made a stupid mistake. Please give her back."

"Maria" He said using her name for the first time. "Go to sleep, but forget about your friend. There's nothing you can do to get her back. It's beyond your power." He turned to leave.

"Wait! What if I run the Labyrinth!" She blurted out.

Jareth stopped. He smirked while his back was to her. This was almost to easy. He put on a serious face and turned around, again rising an eyebrow.

"Do you really think you could possibly get through _my_ Labyrinth Maria?"

She nodded her head defiantly, although inside she wasn't so sure.

"Yeah, I could do it. Piece of Cake!" She gasped and covered her mouth as a round of "Oooooo"s came from the hidden goblins.

Jareth was not entirely amused. "I think not." He said icily. "Besides, what do I get out of letting you run my Labyrinth? I could just keep your friend and save myself the bother."

Maria began to despair. "Uh… I don't have any-" Jareth cut her off with a wave of his hand. He suddenly had a mischievous look on his face.

"I'll tell you what Maria. If you can get to my castle in the center of the goblin city in thirteen hours, you and you friend may go home."

She looked up hopeful again.

"But!" He continued. "If you fail, you _and _your friend are mine. Do we have a deal?"

Maria felt her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach. But what could she do? She was the one who had started all this, and it was her reasonability to at least try to save her friend.

"Alright Goblin King. I accept your challenge." Again the goblins broke into uproarious laughter. Jareth smiled smugly and pointed at a thirteen hour clock that appeared out of nowhere.

"Well then, let the game begin. Your time starts now. I'll be waiting." His voice trailed after him as he slowly faded from in front of her.

"Wait!" Shouted Maria. "How do I get to th-" She turned around to find that instead of the other half of the bedroom (as one might expect to see) she was facing out of doors. There in front of her, bathed in orange light was the labyrinth.

She stared agape for a few seconds. Then squared her shoulders and started out on her journey. "Well… Come on feet."

888

AN: Chapter two. I hope you liked it. Even if you didn't, I would not begrudge a review. _Not-so-subtle-hint Not-so-subtle-hint _

_Anyway, Love Y'all!_

_**Ridel**_


	3. Ridels' predicament

Ridel started. Had she fallen asleep on the floor? She opened her eyes. Strange… When had she redecorated her room to look like Jareths' throne room? And stuffed it to capacity with goblins and chickens?… Oh yeah, never.

She sat up with yelp of surprise. Only a few relatively sober goblins took notice of her, although there attention was soon diverted by much more interesting things. (Chickens for example)

What would you do if you suddenly woke up in a room not your own surrounded by Jim Henson puppets come to life? Probably the same disbelieving gaping, rubbing of eyes, and gibbering as poor Ridel.

Now add a glam rock star from the 80's, dressed in tights that left very little to the imagination to the scene…

Jareth appeared in a huge puff of glitter which caused the throne room (and consequently every one in it) to sparkle. Lending an almost clean appearance to the goblins.

"Ow!" Ridel rubbed at a piece of glitter that had gotten stuck in her eye.

Jareth sauntered over to the pit Ridel was sitting in and leaned over her. "Hello there. comfortable?"

She stared up at him in utter horror, shock and disbelief. Then did what she always did when faced with something she Didn't like, understand, believe, or was afraid of. She retreated into sarcasm. Never a good idea.

"Have you ever considered using colored smoke or fog like most sensible evil overlords?" she asked, her eye red and irritated.

He smiled down at her, showing white canines.

"Cheeky aren't we?"

She stuck her tongue out in a show of childish spite.

"Charming." Said Jareth sarcastically.

He got down into the pit and leaned in close to her. Ridel found this very unnerving, which of course was his plan. "I suggest you learn some manners. You'll be staying here for quite a while."

By now, Ridel was convinced that she was having some kind of lucid dream brought on by watching the movie just before going to bed.

"What? Don't I get the whole _'thirteen hours to solve the labyrinth'_ shebang?"

"Ah," said Jareth. "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. You see, only the person who actually did the wishing can have the chance to fix there mistake, If they wish to."

Ridel looked confused. "ah." She said. "Well in that case who..." She trailed off. Maria. Maria had said the words. She remembered that. But wait, did that mean that she wasn't dreaming?

Ridel pinched her wrist and winced. It hurt. "Uh oh." She said under her breath. Jareth smiled. "A little slow on the uptake I see." He said.

Ridel glared at him. "A minor disappointment." She said. "Maria will get me out of here." She said with certainty.

"If she wished to, perhaps." Said Jareth again, smirking at her.

Ridel looked at him as if his head had just fallen off.

"Maria will get me out of here." She reasserted. "She has beaten every Myst game twice, This will be childes play for her." Ridel crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at her captor, who was grinning like a wolf.

"Ah but what if she doesn't try to undo the wish?"

Ridel paled a bit as Jareth went on.

"What if she is comfortably at home enjoying the crystal I gave her? What if she has forgotten all about you?"

"That is imposable!" She said, her anger rising. "Maria wouldn't just abandon me here! No matter what you offered her. You see she has a little thing I like to call _'Moral character'_"

Jareth began to circle her. "Oh but you'd be surprised how a little magic can go a long way." He said. "Already your parents have forgotten you, your bed room is now your fathers study, you dear, have been erased from the memories of your parents, your teachers, and friends, collogues, everyone! For all intense and purposes you belong to me now."

"What? _NO_! I don't except that!" Ridel jumped to her feet, startling Jareth. "I don't belong to anyone, Wish or no wish! I refuse to sit idly and twiddle my thumbs while you erase my whole life!"

Jareth frowned and straitened up. "Beware Ridel, I can be cruel."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh and spiriting me away on account of a joke made by a giddy teenage girl on a sugar high so you can turn me into a goblin with out even giving me a chance to win back my life is perfectly generous correct?"

Jareth made a 'tsk' noise and slowly walked up behind her. "Oh come now Riddle. Whoever said I would turn you into a goblin?" He whispered in her ear. Ridel caught by surprise by his proximity froze in the act of raising a fist. No, trying to punch the goblin king would probably be the worst thing she cold do right now.

She stopped herself just in time and turned to face him, forcing herself to speak calmly.

"I thought that's what you did when people get wished away. You know, '_keep them forever and turn them into goblins'_ and all that jazz."

Jareth smiled at her again.

"Oh yes, but usually it's red faced screaming children that I have to take. I don't think I've ever gotten an attractive teenage girl before."

Ridel was about to say something when his last sentence sank in. _'he's not going to turn me into a goblin… Did he just call me attractive? No one's ever called me attractive before! Wait he's all… old. Should I be flattered or frightened?'_

"Well then… What do you intend to do to me?" she asked.

Jareth smirked.


	4. Into the Labyrinth

At the same time that Jareth had appeared to torment Ridel, Maria was staring perplexed at a huge closed gate in the labyrinth wall.

"How do I get into this Labyrinth?" She asked it for the second time. Nothing happened.

"Well, maybe that's not the right question." She mused out loud.

She pushed on the gate with all her wait, nothing happened. She ran her hands along the stone wall in either direction for about ten feet in the hope of finding a trick door. All to no avail.

After ten minutes of this she finally snapped. She started screaming profanities at the top of her lungs and beating the gate till her hands hurt too much to carry on._ 'Darn it all!'_ She thought. _'At least Sarah was inside by the time she was ready to scream.'_ "No." She said resolutely. "I will not be out done by that twit!"

"What twit?" came a strange voice from behind her.

Maria screamed and spun around, startled by the voice. The creature, to which the voice belonged, shrugged and started screaming with her. Which only shocked Maria into screaming louder, which prompted the creature to also increase his volume.

When finally it had gone far past the point of utter ridiculousness Maria stopped and tried to catch her breath.

"I say now, that was jolly fun!" Said the creature with a big grin.

"What… Who, are you?" Maria asked in a shaky voice.

"Huh? Oh! Yesyesyes of course! I forgot. Yes, my name" He paused for dramatic effect. "Is Sir Allizander McSweeny. Pleased to meet you madam." He bowed low to her.

He was defiantly an odd creature. He stood about two feet above Maria and had deep maroon fur. He stood on two legs even though by the look of him he should have felt more comfortable on four. He wore a black tuxedo jacket and carried a walking cane, (which was obviously for ornamental purposes only). Atop his ferret-like head he sported an outrageous top hat. An exceedingly long bushy raccoon tail stuck out behind him.

Yes thought Maria, a very odd creature indeed.

"Uh… Pleased to meet you too. My name is Maria." She held out her hand to him, which he promptly took and kissed. Maria turned a light shade of pink at the attention.

"Ah, Delighted I'm sure! Yes indeed. Now tell me Maria, why were you wandering back and forth in front of that wall talking to yourself and generally acting like a jitterbugging lunatic?"

Maria passed pink and turned a nice shade of red, reminiscent of a good, healthy tomato.

"I suppose I was, wasn't I?" Allizander nodded his head enthusiastically. Maria sighed. "It's just that I have to get into this Labyrinth but I don't know how to open the stupid door and I only have a little time!"

Allizander looked puzzled. "Why the heavens would you want to go in there? It's nothing but Goblins and sliding walls, oubliettes and some sort of smelly swamp thing. Not a good place for a nice little girl surly!"

"I'm seventeen! I'm not a little girl!" Maria huffed. "And besides it's not that I WANT to," (Although she certainly did) "But the Goblin king has my friend prisoner and I only have thirteen hours to get through the Labyrinth to save her."

A look of surprise and horror passed over Allizanders face. "Oh dear me! He's not at that again is he?"

"I beg your pardon?" Asked Maria. "What do you mean at it again? Isn't that what he dose?"

But Allizander was rather caught up in his own thoughts and ramblings. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, your friend, human was she?"

Maria stared at him for a second. "yes... just like me." She said, somewhat confused about Allizanders conduct.

"Oh dear lord he _is_ at it again! Come come come we must away to the castle at once! If not sooner!"

With that he stepped up to the door, pulled it open, and started jogging down the left path.

Maria was stunned_. 'Did I just gain an invaluable ally? And this early on in the game?'_

"Maria!" barked Allizander from inside the labyrinth. "Speed woman! Time is of the essence!"

Maria shrugged and ran in after him. After all, she had never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

AN:

Very short chapter I realize. I've always had trouble with this chapter. Oh well, onward and upward. Hope you liked it all the same.

RIDEL


	5. Byrems' Lament

Maria shrugged and followed Alizander into the labyrinth. with the sound of stone grating on stone and a final thundering **Thud,** Alizander and the strange mortal disappeared from sight.

Near by, a small fairy poked her head out of her hiding place. "How very interesting." She said in a lovely bell-like voice "I'm sure his lordship would be interested in hearing about this."

The tiny woman made an exaggerated hand gesture and disappeared in a small cloud of blue smoke.

888

Byrem stood at one of the many palace windows and surveyed his kingdom with a mixture of pity and contempt. Such a small pathetic country, to call it that was a joke. A few decades ago Byrem had been happy and excited to inherit the throne. If only he had known then what he knew now.

His was one of the smallest and most insignificant of the countries in the underground. No one in the human world ever dreamed of the lowly inhabitants of Akome anymore.

Once it had flourished. Mothers told there children stories of the onyx castle that lay deep in the scarlet forests. Of the wood trolls that roamed by night, Misguiding travelers with the help of the Will-o-the-wisp and other tricksters. Of the Ink panthers and the grate golden colored elks. Now the country was hanging on by a thread.

During his fathers reign the borders had crept closer to the castle, Other kingdoms like the Elf and Ghoul kingdoms were spreading and eating away at the smaller kingdoms like Akome and the labyrinth.

Byrem knew he had to find a way to remind the humans that Akome was still here. But he had no idea how

His reverie was interrupted by the rumbling voice of one of the palace guards.

"The lady Ariminta requests an audience sire, to report important news from the Labyrinth."

Byrem turned to his troll guard. "Oh yes? Important news hmm?"

The guard nodded his head, causing ripples to pass through it's innumerable chins. "That is what she said sire."

Byrem scoffed. "I can't imagine what could possibly be of import in the goblin kingdom. Still, I could use a distraction. Send her in."

The flesh troll bowed and thundered away to fetch the fairy spy.

Byrem walked over to his onyx throne and sat leisurely on it's black satin cushions.

A moment later the small tan fairy in a green flowing dress fluttered into the throne room and bowed before her king.

He nodded to her and she straitened up before him. "Welcome home Ariminta, what have you to say to me?"

"Oh yes, it's nice to see you too my lord." Said the fairy flatly. Byrem smiled. She may be a pest, but he missed her lack of respect some times. It made him feel more like a person and less like a title. Though Ariminta was the only one who was able to get away with it. she was an old friend of his.

"It happens that the goblin king has some very interesting visitors just now."

"A representative of one of the larger countries no doubt." Said Byrem, uninterested.

"Not as such my liege." Said the fairy, a hint of mischief in her voice.

"Well?" he prompted.

"Well… it seems that two humans have found their way into the labyrinth sire."

Byrem's head snapped up. "Humans? In the labyrinth? I thought the goblin king didn't have enough power to bring humans over anymore."

Ever since the young human girl defeated the labyrinth over a decade ago Jareth had lost most of his power. The labyrinth shrunk more and more for a short while until some unknown event in the human world had stabilized it.

If only Akome could be so lucky.

"I'm afraid he found a way sire." Said Ariminta.

"How?" Byrem asked.

"Well sire, he seams to have taken two… well… young ladies."

"Two? How could he have brought over two? How old are they?" He asked, his mind whirring.

"Err, If I had to guess I'd say… oh… sixteen, seventeen human years?"

Byrem laid back in his throne. He could not believe the luck! If one of the kingdoms were able to get their hands on a human, preferably a young one, the kingdom could flourish and grow beyond belief. The underground fed on human dreams and imagination, and with a human in one's power one could even become the ruler of the underground.

That was why the human world had been marked off-limits to fey kind. No fey could go to earth. (with out the permission of particularly imaginative humans, and even then they could never bring anything back.)

But if you could lure a human over, so they came of there own free will, and then convinced them to stay…

Yes, Jareth had tried this trick before.

A young girl with long dark hazel hair and jade eyes, tired of babysitting and the thoughtlessness of her step mother, called on the goblin king for help. Sarah Williams was a girl blessed with a startlingly overactive imagination. And even though deep down she had not meant for anything to happen to her baby brother, the goblin king had all the invitation he needed.

In fact, nothing _had_ happened to her step brother. Although he had been summoned, Jareth could not take anything from earth back with him. But a human mind is easy to trick, especially for a fey. A little magic went a long way and before long Sarah was trapped in the underground. While she was there Jareth found that he rather liked tormenting her and her little dwarf friend Higgle. But such actions were rather inhibiting his larger plans. Now he had to get the girl to stay of her own free will.

He tormented the dwarf into giving her an enchanted peach which gave her visions of dancing with him. He sang her love songs and tried to make her forget about her quest. But Sarah had not been fooled for long. She escaped his embrace and shattered the dream. Pity, so he waited for her to reach the castle. He had to play his cards right for if he could not convince her to stay it would mean loosing more of his power and having the borders creep in on him.

He had been so close. So close. He even managed to make her forget the words that would end her little adventure. But at the last second, just as when she had escaped the ballroom, the light of realization came on in her eyes. "You have no power over me!"

And thus he lost. The human girl slipped right through his fingers. And with her, almost all of his powers. When the other kingdoms heard about the goblin king's little plan and how close it had come to succeeding, they sent spies in to keep an eye on him. The goblin king did not care much for his subjects or his surroundings, and let his goblins do whatever they wanted, provided it did not interfere with whatever he happened to be doing at the time. The elves especially cringed at the thought of Jareth as high king of the underground.

Now Jareth seemed to be up to his old tricks. It had been a long time since the Sarah girl had traversed the labyrinth and most of the spies had become inattentive to there duties. After all, the labyrinth was an incredibly small, insignificant and dull place. after a while, the spies were withdrawn. Other kingdoms figured that the Goblin king had so little power as it was, he would never be able to attempt such an act again. Only Byrem left his spy there. A fact most displeasing to Ariminta. Though he paid little attention to the place, he didn't put it past Jareth to surprise everyone with a new scheme. He would find a way to get what he wanted.

Now that there were humans there however, Byrem took an immediate interest in the place.

"Well well Ariminta! That was a fine bit of work. Go to them, watch them. Come back in two hours and tell me what you see. "

Byrem knew well what would happen if Jareth managed to keep the girls in the labyrinth. Akome and the labyrinth had been rival countries for ever. As far as the history books went back, there had always been enmity between them. Some dispute between the kings eons ago that no one could remember. Yet it seemed the hatred was passed along with the crown to the new generations.

Byrem hated Jareth. He was a scheming, conniving, self-absorbed child!

Jareth hated Byrem. He was a self-righteous, day dreaming idiot! With a country full of creatures so old no one knew there names anymore.

Byrem longed to wipe the insufferable smirk of Jareth's face forever. Just as Jareth longed to destroy Byrem's attitude of superiority.

No, it would not do to let Jareth have even the slightest opportunity.

The fairy bowed and disappeared in her trademark cloud of blue smoke. Byrem stood and walked over to his window again. This time, instead of seeing a pitiful dieing country, he saw possibility.

He waved his hand and a small jade ball formed in his palm. In it a picture of the flesh troll guard appeared. "Guard! Summon Orrick to my throne room at once." The guard had jumped when he heard his kings voice. He bowed, seemingly to the air, and thundered down the corridor.

Byrem vanished the jade ball and stood on the window ledge. Orrick was away in another part of the country he would take a bit of time arriving. Byrem grinned. He started to shrink and sprout white feathers. A few seconds later a white raven shot out of the window and soared high over the scarlet forest. The leaves of the trees shined like rubies.

Sending a spy was all well and good, but Byrem wanted to see the human girls for himself. The raven seemed to dissolve into a wisp of white smoke. seconds later the raven reappeared. However, instead of the scarlet forest below him he found the winding Labyrinth. And in the center he heard the hysterical shrieking of one very upset human girl.

888

**A/N**

**This chappy goes out to LuckRatTail who had the brilliant idea of throwing in a rival king trying to get his hands on Maria and/or Ridel for some reason.**

**And Ariminta goes out to Soprano Of The Labyrinth and Christopher Iirod, who wanted a fairy character.**

**Remember! If you want to have a say in what happens in this fic, leave a review with your suggestion.**

**Love y'all!**

_**Ridel**_


	6. Almost an amazing escape

Jareth had not answered Ridels question but instead called one of the taller goblins over.

"Take this young lady up to the guest room will you? I need to think on things." He commanded. The goblin bowed to his king and took her by the wrist. Funny but he was much stronger than he looked. It led her down one of the many dark corridors. She now sat alone in the room the Goblin had so non ceremoniously dumped her in.

It was, she had to admit, a very beautiful room. Or at least had undoubtedly been at one time. The high marble pillars were covered in filth and parts of the floor were stained in suspicious colors. The domed ceiling was a fantastically beautiful sun roof. Unfortunately The glass was so grimy that the only light that filtered through lent an even more depressing air to the room. The smell of the room was absolutely fowl. If these were the guest quarters she didn't want to think of what the dungeons were like.

Ridel had found several bottles of what she assumed to be some sort of goblin ail poorly hidden under the bed sheets. She had been contemplating sleep until she got a glimpse of the ecosystem that had developed in the mattress. She was convinced it had not been cleaned since it's manufacture.

She was sure she could hear tiny little voices coming from it if she listened very carefully. It made her shiver. From then on she made a point not to touch anything. She wished she had slippers on or something. Anything not to have to touch the floor with her bear skin.

"If I ever see my home again I swear that I shall burn my copy of the Labyrinth and stomp on it's charred remains." She muttered to herself.

Ridel felt her heart jumped into her throat as something long and furry crawled out from under the bed and slithered over her feet before disappearing through a huge crack in the wall.

She stood there for quite some time, staring at where the creature had disappeared. She became aware of the sound of innumerable small legs clawing there way around the inside the walls.

"… Okay… That's it, I'm getting out of here right now!"

Ridel walked over to the bed and pulled the top blanket off. Ignoring the shouting and general cursing of the microscopic inhabitants. she shook it out and stripped the bed of all it's sheets. She tied them to each other end to end then finally secured her makeshift rope to one of the bed posts. Satisfied that it would hold her weight she walked over to one of the filthy windows and, after some searching through the muck, found the latch and swung it open.

She stuck her head out and surveyed the ground below her.

The goblin City stretched out in front of her, completely deserted.

'_That'll work.'_ She thought, and without further adieu tossed her makeshift escape rope out the window. It didn't quite reach the ground but it looked like she could make the drop safely.

Ridel froze. The click clack of high heel boots. Someone was coming, and she was reasonably sure it wasn't a goblin.

It was now or never. She crawled onto the window ledge. Suddenly the window seemed much higher than the last time she looked.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep steadying breath and With a small whimper of fear she grabbed the rope and jumped.

A key turned in the lock and Jareth Swung the door open.

"And how is my little gust enjoying her…self?" He suddenly noticed that he was addressing a room completely devoid of his captive. However, the classic bed sheet escape mechanism caught his eye and he walked over to the open window. Leaning over the sill he saw that the girl was about half way down the castle wall.

"Hello there!"

Ridel froze in her decent and looked slowly up at the smirking goblin king. She was surprisingly embarrassed and said the only thing that came to her. "…Uh… Hello."

"Having fun are we?" he asked.

Ridel groaned. "Well something tells me it's much more fun from ware your standing."

He Grinned. "So… will you be a good little girl and climb back up here, or do I have to climb down there and get you myself?"

"well… Let me think about it…" She hung there swaying with the rope and pretending to think about the prospect. "No if it's all the same to you I think I'll just keep doing what I was doing."

"Very well." Jareth stood up strait and suddenly took hold of the rope. "Dear me, I wonder what would happen if I did this!" He pulled on the bed sheets and heard a satisfying shriek from Ridel, who had almost lost her grip.

"DON'T DO THAT!" she screamed, as if he might actually stop.

He continued to pull the bed sheets into the room and Ridel climbed furiously down until she was at the end of the rope. Suddenly there was no way she would survive the drop to the ground and her only option was to let the goblin king drag her the rest of the way up the wall.

Jareth was enjoying himself immensely. Ridel squealed so nicely. Then he froze. A white raven was circling almost out of view. He nearly dropped the sheets as the full import of the creatures presence hit him. _'Byrem. Byrem is here! In my labyrinth! He must have found out about my little guests.'_

The raven disappeared in the glare of the sun, as if it had been no more than a mirage. Jareth knew better.

Coming back to the present Jareth hauled the shaky red head back into the room and shut the window. "Well now, that was rather stupid wasn't it."

Ridel hung her head and tried her best not to blush any redder. "Well… it was worth a shot any way." She mumbled.

Jareth scoffed.

"Well now that it seams I can't trust you on your own for more than ten minutes together, I suppose I had better set you up with a guard."

"What?" groaned Ridel. Jareth formed a crystal in his hand and tossed it in the air. When it landed it made a loud popping sound and suddenly in it's place there stood a very confused looking goblin.

"You," said Jareth catching the creators attention. "I want you to guard this girl, alright? Make sure she stays out of trouble."

The Goblin looked at Ridel, then at the king, then back at Ridel again. "But yer majesty, Wazzer and I was just about to-" Jareth cut the goblin off. "Listen. You do this for me, and let's say I forget all about sending you and you're friend Watsit to the bog. Sound good to you?"

The goblin's eyes grew wide and he nodded his head vigorously. "Oh yes highness! Right away your highness! No trouble at all your highness."

"Shut up." Snapped Jareth offhandedly. Then turned to Ridel. "I have some unexpected business to attend to. If I catch you trying to escape again, I'll through you in the deepest oubliette I can find. Is that understood?"

Ridel settled on glairing at him. Then nodded her head almost imperceptibly.

"Good. You two stay here for now. I'll be back later." With that Jareth vanished in a cloud of glitter. Ridel's little goblin guard stomped over to the side of the room and sat down with a huff. He Glared at Ridel, who had interrupted his fun. Ridel sat quietly in the center of the floor and tried to think of a new plan. It was hard to do with the constant bored huffing and accusing glare of the goblin. It struck her that the goblin was acting like the kids she used to baby-sit, whenever they didn't get there way.

This was going to be a very long day…

**A/N**

**Just a bit of mindless fun, filler, stuff. Nothing much. Hope you enjoyed it.**

_**Ridel **_


	7. Not as it seems

"Are we lost?" Asked Maria. "Because I think we're lost. That crop of eyeball lichen looks so Familiar."

Said lichen gave her what may have been a wink. Of course it was hard to tell when all the eyes acted individually.

Maria and Allizander had been walking around for almost an hour according to her watch, and apparently making no progress.

Her feet, clad in thin house slippers, were starting to give her grief and she had been very put out that the first corridor had held a total lack of friendly blue worms.

"Patience my girl." Said Allizander. "The way quickest forward is sometimes-"

"The way back?" Asked Maria innocently.

Allizander gave her confused look. "I was going to say the longest way round. It's a bit daft sounding. Way forward being the way back. But trust me, this way will have us at the castle in six hours or less."

Maria grumbled incoherencies and kicked at a pebble on the ground in front of her. Six more hours of walking with Allizander didn't sound like much fun. It was nice of him to try to help, but the guy wouldn't shut up and was really getting on her nerves. Thirteen hours seamed a lot longer when you took them one minute at a time.

Maria tried to figure out the time in her head. _'We started 56 minutes ago, so we'll just say an hour, then take away six more, That laves me with six bloody hours to have my confrontation with Jareth! Sarah only had a few minutes! This will be a piece of…uh… pie.'_

Allizander rounded a corner and was out of sight for all of one second before Maria hared him yelping and a loud Twang. She gave a short squeak of surprise and dashed around the corner.

"Allizander? What happened?"

Allizander stood rigidly in front of her with his tail twice the size she remembered it to be. Also his charming top hat had a small arrow sticking through it.

"That'll tech ye tu shoow yer face round eir ye devious weezle ye!" Screamed a high pitch little creature. It was about two feet high and held a cross bow three times its size.

"A-Allizander?" Maria stuttered. The thing turned to her. "Oh, so yous tinkin' ye needing help dis eh? Bring a little girly ter help ye carry me tings?"

Allizander had slowly taken off his top hat and was inspecting the arrow hole. "This was my best hat." He whined.

"Scuse me." Said Maria. "I don't know what this is all about, but we're not here to take anything. We're just passing by."

The crazed little fur ball waved the huge crossbow frantically under her nose. "I wunt have it! Get out! Get out! Get out! Let me be ye Weezle lovin' git ye!" It screamed as if it had not heard her. It looked as if it may start foaming at the mouth any second, and the way it swung its crossbow around made Maria fear for there lives.

"Okay, okay," Maria said soothingly. "We're just leaving now. Don't sweat it." Maria inched around the creature, giving it a wide berth. It kept it's cross bow leveled at her mid section. it gave her an appraising look up and down. "You ain't up te nothin' are ye? What ar ye doin' in this bit O teh Labyrinth?"

"I say, that hat was very expensive!" Piped up Allizander. The creature swung it's cross bow around and shot a warning at him. He yelped and ducked covering his head with his arms. The arrow just missed Allizanders left shoulder.

"Shut up! I be talkin' to te little lady!" The thing screamed. Maria gulped.

The thing turned back to her. "Now answer me question."

"Okay, alright, look. I was visiting a friend, spending the night at her house see, and it was really late and we were all gigly and stuff and she kept on making me laugh, So I joked around and said that if she didn't stop I'd wish her away to the goblins."

The thing perked up at this.

"so anyway she kept on goofing around so I said the words. And the next thing I knew my friend was gone and the goblin king was standing in the room gloating."

The thing glared at her. "Well what wer ye s'pectin' te happen? So I's gessin' ye got all soppy an asked for ye friend back an' he wouldn't give? So now yer stuck here runnin this little rat race te get em back?"

Maria nodded. Though she was a bit offended by the little things rendition, it more or less had the story right.

"HA! Serves ye right ye little brat!"

"Now wait a moment sir!" Said Allizander.

Maria exploded. "BRAT? How was I supposed to know the goblin king would actually show up and take her? It doesn't exactly happen every day you jerk! The goblin king is SUPPOSED to be a made up character in a silly old movie! And besides! I've heard my friends say the words billions of times and no goblins ever showed up then!"

Both Allizander and the little furry creature were staring at her after her little outburst. The little thing spoke up first. "Ye aint from around ere are ye?" It looked up at her with a bit of awe and suspicion.

Maria sighed in frustration. "Do I LOOK like a goblin to you?" she huffed.

The thing lowered it's cross bow a bit. "You ain't fae er nothin'?" It asked, again it's voice was loaded with suspicion.

Maria was a bit surprised at that. "Er… do I look fae to you?" she asked out of genuine curiosity this time. As she understood it, the fae were supposed to be the most beautiful people in the fictitious fairytale world. She never thought herself particularly attracted.

"No…" said the thing after considering the question for a while. Darn.

"No ye don't. Yer a bit off, like ye aint usin yer glamour."

Oh well, Maria didn't want to give herself airs after all. But still…

"She happens to be a human Sir! And you would do well to remember that!" Said Allizander.

The creature gave her a wide eyed and fearful… Or was it reverential Look? The thing started to shake just a little and backed away from her. Maria was having trouble adjusting to the sudden change in attitude.

"Um… Are you…What? What's up?" she asked, just a little concerned.

"Ye… Ye just go along okay? I's just a simple man witout much. Sorry about the bow an' all, I'us just lookin out fer me property okay? Ye just go help yer friend yeah? Oh and here! Tek this soes ye knows I'm sorry." The creature retreated into a small hole in the Labyrinth wall and came back out with a weird… Very weird, grubby looking necklace. It reached out and pressed it into Maria's hand.

"Um… Okay? Thanks I guess." It had a silver chain, which had turned green in some places with time and neglect, and had a pendant outlined with two dragons. One was gold, the other silver. An emerald tear drop hung from the top and dangled in the middle.

"It aint magic mind ye," said the little thing bashfully. "but it still be a nice bit a trinketry yeah?" It seamed to be trying to gain her approval. Maria was a bit weirded out, but grateful none the less.

"Yeah it's really neat, Thank you. What's your name?"

The creature looked apprehensive, but Maria could just make out the name "Growr" Mumbled quietly.

She smiled and put on the necklace. "Thank you Growr, This is really sweet of you."

Growr grumbled a bit, obviously not liking to be considered sweet, which just made him sweeter in her eyes.

She turned to Allizander "Well, come on Zander, we still have a Labyrinth to run. Good bye Growr!" She waved and continued down the path they had been walking down.

Growr turned to Allizander as he walked by and asked him in a quiet voice. "She don't know te first ting about whut she gone and gotten herself into do she?"

"You still owe me for the repairs on my hat you know." He grumbled. Growr smiled showing his crooked yellow teeth.

"Git yer human friend te make ye a new one." He cackled and ducked back down into his hole. Allizander sighed and started after Maria before she got to far ahead.

A/N

Sorry for the lack of goblin king. Maybe he'll be in the next chapter.

And just so you know, I had never read the WeeFree men before I wrote this. I was not copping Terry pratchett.

ANYWAY!

please don't forget to leave a review So you can help me continue the story! Just to remind you, I have but the barest of plot lines for this story and need ideas to help me get to the end.

Ridel


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